Callings
by SadaraLochlan
Summary: Jim Kirk gets command of the Enteprise back, but he has to break the news to some who may not be overjoyed to hear that.
1. Callings

"Admiral Nogura gave me back the Enterprise. I'm taking her to confront this… whatever it is… that's on its way to Earth."

James Tiberius Kirk's voice was quiet and as gentle as he could possibly make it as he delivered the news he was certain would earn him a semi permanent residence in the doghouse with Butler until the Enterprise warped out.

Sadara looked up from salad she was preparing as part of their supper that night. The expression on her face was witness to the stormcloud of thoughts raging through her mind. In the end, she simply returned to her dinner preparations and said nothing. A cold, emptiness settled over her being as she digested his words, leaving her bereft and chilled. She'd had a feeling this day would come, but had hoped it wouldn't. At least the knowledge had prevented his decision from being so much of a surprise that couldn't rein in her anger.

"Sadara, I know you better than that. What?"

She shrugged, wanting to shove off the hand he'd placed comfortingly on her shoulder. "I knew this day would come. We both did. You've been miserable ever since you started flying a desk. I'm a big girl, Jim. I knew when we became an item that I'd lose to the Enterprise if you ever saw an opportunity to ship out on her again. It's our daughter I was hoping you'd love enough to stay for."

Tossing the veggies in with the salad, Sadara tossed the bowl onto the dining room table and turned her attention to making pasta. She felt Kirk's arms encircle her waist and she fought the temptation to relax against his comforting embrace. He still loved her, but the pull of the Enterprise was still stronger. If only Starfleet would let him take them with him then his life would be as close to perfect as was possible.

"Sadara…, Kirk stood up straight, drawing on all of his conviction and charisma, and whirled the mother of his daughter to face him. He grasped her chin and tipped her head to look up at him. Her big blue eyes met his unwaveringly. "Madeline means everything to me! And if I don't stop this thing from coming to Earth, I'll lose both of you."

"And say you do stop this thing? You know as well as I do that you'll want to stay out in space. Jim, I know you. You know you. You don't want this to be a temporary gig on the Enterprise."

He said nothing and they both stood there in silence as the Vulcan/Human hybrid went back to stirring pasta.

"I haven't decided that," the somber Starfleet Chief of Operations said in almost a whisper. "But if I do stay out on the Enterprise, I promise I will contact you frequently and return home to you and Madeline as often as I can."

That earned him a raised Vulcan eyebrow. "Isn't this exactly the sort of stunt that upset you about your own father, Jim?"

Kirk's expression hardened at that, but he said nothing.

"Look Jim, I understand. I truly do. I completely understand that you're unhappy in a desk job with no adventure and no risk. I'm in a similar boat. I'm spearheading a research project that might lead to counselors aboard starships, but it's the same tedious job day after day. But we have a very young child who deserves a stable home with both of her parents."

"I don't deny that, but I can't just deny myself what I know I was meant to do."

"Very well. We will speak no more on the matter. I just hope for your sake that Madeline understands one day."

The following afternoon saw Sadara standing on the porch with their six year old daughter, Madeline clinging to her father. Sadara stroked Madeline's sandy blonde hair and noted with some interest the effort Madeline was making to stay calm and strong. There were times that Sadara thought Madeline's Vulcan quarter was stronger than her own Vulcan half. Madeline had remained unemotional and resolute the night before when Jim had visited her just before bedtime to explain to her that he was shipping out. Now that the moment had arrived, the silent tears had finally made their way to the surface.

Kirk was having an equally difficult time letting go of his little girl; a little girl who worshipped the ground he walked on. With a gentle kiss to the forehead, he finally released himself from his daughter's embrace and stood up. As he looked down at her, it nearly knocked the wind out of him to realize that six years had passed already. It seemed only yesterday they had brought her home from the hospital. He could only imagine it would feel like an equally short ten years from now that he'd be sitting on this very deck, wielding an antique but still deadly shotgun in warning to any guys hoping to return her home late.

_Boys…_, he growled inwardly. It was one thing to pursue women. The thought of men one day pursuing his own daughter was an entirely different matter.

"You take care of your mom for me, okay? I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You can count on me, dad," she saluted as crisply as possible for a young child and grinned hugely.

"That's my girl," Kirk grinned proudly, then turned to Sadara and leaned toward her for a quick kiss.

"I'll let you know how it goes," he said before turning and flipping open his communicator, calling to be beamed over to Starfleet HQ.

Madeline leaned against her mother as they watched him fade away. Sadara's arm snaked around and pulled her daughter close, rubbing the child's arm comfortingly.

"You're taking this very well, sweetheart. I hope to see you continue to take it well. I understand that it is difficult to see your father leave for a long time and to a dangerous job. If he chooses to remain in space for some time, he may not see many events in your life that will important to you. Try not to resent him for that. His job… what he does out there on that starship…will make things better for a great many people. We will miss him, but our sacrifice is a small price to pay for the good your father and his crew will accomplish. Be proud of your father."

Madeline looked up at her mother with her eyebrow raised. "Is this more of that Vulcan stuff about the good of the many…"

"Something like that." Yes, the child definitely had some Vulcan blood in her.

"Thought you weren't into that?"

"Some of it is good for you believe it or not. Now let's go finish that puzzle you wanted to work on today."

As Sadara watched her daughter bound back into the house, she couldn't help but send silent prayers to whatever deities may or may not exist to look over James T. Kirk because she couldn't imagine having to explain his death to their daughter.


	2. Hybrids

The Enterprise was back in spacedock for minor repairs and the final stages of the refit so suddenly and rudely interrupted by V'Ger's quest. It had been two days since legendary starship's triumphant return and Captain James Tiberius Kirk was "feeling his oats" for the first time in years. Starship command was in his blood and he wouldn't let it be taken from him so easily this time.

The comm whistled as Kirk finished signing off on some repair orders and other requests. He handed the datapad over to the yeoman on duty and punched the botton on his console.

"Kirk here."

"Scotty here, sir. I thought you might like to know that a certain someone you were expecting is here and waiting."

Scotty's voice radiated warmth and Admiral Kirk could picture the fond, doting smile on the brilliant engineer's face.

"I'll be right there, Scotty," Kirk grinned as he leapt from the captain's chair. "Alright! "Spock, you're with me. There's someone I'd like you to meet."

Spock swiveled in his chair at the science station and rose even as his right eyebrow did. His friend hadn't mentioned any additional crew coming aboard or anyone else of note. He had to admit though that his curiosity was piqued. They hadn't seen one another in several years so much could have happened in the energetic human's life since the end of the five year mission. And bound to a tedious desk job, the Vulcan/Human hybrid could only imagine what Kirk had conjured up for adventure.

Kirk said nothing as they traveled down to the transporter room, but there was an excitement and eagerness in his expression that didn't go unnoticed by his recently reinstated first officer.

The transporter room doors swooshed open to reveal one Montgomery Scott explaining the science behind the transporter to a young child. Kirk stayed silent a moment enjoying the look of fascination on both faces.

"Are we uh, interrupting, Scotty?" he said, amusement lighting up his still handsome face.

"Not at all, sir! I was almost finished." The Scotsman stepped back and watched as the girl happily raced to Kirk and was enthusiastically gathered up in his arms. It was easily apparent how of a "daddy's little girl" this girl seemed to be.

"Dad!"

Spock's eyebrows flew up into his hairline in amazement. "You have a child?"

Kirk grinned. "Spock, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Madeline."

Not missing a beat, Madeline held up her hand in the Vulcan salute. "Live long and prosper, Mr. Spock."

"And to you, Ms. Kirk," Spock returned, struggling to keep the shock from pervading his voice. The girl looked a fair bit like her father; the dark blonde hair reminiscent of her father from several years ago during the first five year mission. His looked darker now. The dark blue eyes also seemed familiar, but must have been inherited from the child's mother. Her expression now held stoicism uncharacteristic of humans. It appeared that she was being instructed in how to behave around Vulcans.

"I have pointed ears too," Madeline declared proudly, pushing her long, blonde hair back to expose the delicately pointed ears she'd inherited from her mother.

Spock's eyebrows hit his bangs again as all the pieces clicked into place. "Sadara Lochlan is her mother?!"

"Guilty as charged," Kirk said with a smirk, though his eyes still held only doting warmth as he looked as his little girl.

"Uncle Scotty was explaining to me how transporters work," Madeline said, turning back to her father.

Off to the side, Scotty smiled warmly. "She learns quickly I might add."

"Hmmm… we may have to put you to work then," Kirk said as he pretended to ponder that. "Think you can handle it?"

"Yes, sir!" Madeline grinned as Kirk finally put her down. "So do we get to go to sickbay and see grandpa?"

At this point Spock wasn't sure his eyebrows weren't going to remain permanently in his bangs. "Grandpa? Dr. McCoy I presume?"

Kirk thought about the best way to explain that one. "It's what she started calling Bones when she was learning to talk and Bones let her get away with it. Our best guess is Madeline assumed with Bones' age and how much time he and I spent together that he must be family. Bones hasn't seemed to have an issue filling that niche so we haven't discouraged her."

The tall Vulcan nodded in understanding as they exited the transporter room and made their way to the nearest turbolift. "It is to the child's benefit to have many people involved positively in her upbringing. No doubt the good doctor makes for an indulgent grandparent."

"He is stern and strict on occasion," Madeline remarked matter of factly. "Though he has not yet asked me if I'm "out of my Vulcan mind."

"Perhaps when you're older," Spock replied with amusement, remembering Dr. McCoy's teasing of him from several years prior.

Spock continued to observe the child with fascination. She behaved more human when interacting with humans, but reined in her exuberance when conversing with him. She was obviously attempting to be mindful of his Vulcan nature while practicing developing her own Vulcan quarter. So far she appeared to be an impressive and intelligent child. Energetic and insightful like her father with the curiosity of her mother.

"Dad has told me many stories about you. It has been my hope to meet you. There are some things I'd be interested to know about Vulcan. My mother is adequate in explaining many things about the culture and she teaches me the language, but she hasn't lived the lifestyle as you have. I believe there are things I can only learn from one who lives as a Vulcan."

"And it would be my honor to be of assistance, Madeline," Spock said. "Are you familiar with the game of Kal Toh yet?"

"My mother plays and is proficient at it. She has been instructing me."

"Indeed…," Spock said. "Fascinating…"

Spock hung back as father and daughter entered sickbay, stunned at how mature a child his best friend had raised. For a moment, the Vulcan/Human hybrid felt pained at how much of his friends' lives he had missed… how much of his own life he had missed by pursuing Kolinahr perfection on Vulcan. Here in front of him was a six year old Vulcan/Human hybrid finding a way to be both human and Vulcan without fear of censure by either culture. He wondered if perhaps he might learn more from her than she would from him.


	3. Beware Admirals Making Office Visits

"I want another child."

As Jim Kirk anticipated, that statement had Sadara's immediate, complete, and undivided attention. Her head snapped up from the patient notes she'd been looking over and her sapphire eyes were wide as saucers as she took in Jim's commanding form in the doorway of her office. He had no clue what her response was going to be. She was career driven and Madeline was already in grade school.

Glancing at the chronometer, Sadara gestured to her couch. It was nearing lunchtime and her next client wasn't due for about an hour and a half so there was time to discuss it.

The door hissed shut behind Kirk as he fully entered the cozy little room and sank down into the soft cushions. He had been here before, but usually just briefly. The room was small, but comfortable and it had her touch. She typically preferred dimly lit rooms as opposed to bright, harsh lighting. Kirk smirked slightly as he recalled Spock once remarking on her preference with some curiosity since Vulcan eyes were equipped to comfortably adapt to harsh light. He had asked her about it once and was told that it stemmed from her childhood when her father preferred to have candles and the fireplace going rather than the artificial lights. It was simply what she was used to and comfortable with. On her desk was an extremely antique and thick paperback copy of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders VI that Kirk had stumbled across when they had first started dating. All subsequent editions had been published digitally.

The color turquoise was well represented, which didn't surprise Kirk in the slightest. For as long as he'd known her, Sadara was fond of colors like turquoise and teal.

Catching his gaze, Sadara smiled and explained. "In color psychology, turquoise is said to be a calming color that also aides communication and emotional balance. Both qualities are essential in this line of work."

"So…," the Vulcan/Human hybrid rose from the chair at her desk and moved to the chair across from the chocolate hued couch Kirk was lounging on. "What happened during your latest adventure that you want another child?"

Kirk's eyebrows rose with some humor at her insight that the recent V'Ger mission had made him rethink the completeness of his family. "Does every change of heart require a life changing event as a catalyst?"

"No, not always. Sometimes minor life experiences can affect one's desires, but in your case, you just returned from a dire situation. Now you're wishing to expand our family; something you hadn't mentioned before V'Ger."

Leaning forward, Kirk laced his fingers and his elbows rested on his knees. "Matt Decker's son was listed as missing during the V'Ger mission. I had to tell his mother, Sara. I don't know what it's like to lose a grown child, but I do know what it's like to lose a wife and child."

"Miramanee," Sadara said softly.

Kirk nodded somberly. "And you also know what it's like to lose a young child. We don't know what Madeline will decide to do when she gets older, but if, heaven forbid, she joins Starfleet and something happens to her and you…"

"You would take comfort in knowing you didn't lose your whole family."

"That makes me sound selfish, doesn't it," Kirk said with a good measure of self reproach.

Sadara shook her head. "I don't think so. It makes you sound human and aware of your own mortality. For most species there is a drive to make certain one has descendents. You've just encountered a woman who has lost both her husband and her son in the line of duty so naturally that has pushed family to the forefront of your mind. To be old and alone is not something most people desire."

"If I hadn't been in Starfleet, I might have asked sooner. I enjoyed having a sibling. I just felt that being away for long periods of time it wasn't fair to keep having children I'd hardly see. I can't promise you that I won't be away at times."

Sadara pondered that a moment, seeing the situation from all angles and deciding whether or not she agreed.

"Perhaps, but you wouldn't be the first man to leave behind a family for long periods of time due to life in the service. And restricting yourself to one child because of it isn't necessarily fair to the child or you. As you mentioned a moment ago, having a sibling was something you enjoyed. Perhaps you should ask Madeline if she would enjoy having one and see if that affects your decision."

Kirk looked at Sadara with a serious, almost hesitant look, as if he knew the answer before he even voiced the question. It was a rare moment when Kirk appeared hesitant about anything and Sadara realized just how much the young Admiral had steeled himself for rejection.

"Madeline isn't the only other person involved. This has to be something you want too." His deep voice was quiet, almost a whisper. "And as career driven as you are, I doubt it is."

Leaning back in the chair, a sigh escaped Sadara. A counselor with several years of experience, she had to admit she found it easier to see solutions and advise other couples than it was to know how to navigate the sometimes rough seas in her own relationship. While it seemed like six years was a fairly wide age gap between children, the truth was that another child wouldn't set back her career goals that much more. And aside from commanding a starship, Jim Kirk was almost never selfish and didn't often ask for anything. If he could have had a family aboard ship, he gladly would have had his cake and eat it too. Maybe then he would actually know his son, David. David's mother, Carol barred Kirk from David's life because of his life in Starfleet. To ask any woman for a child after such rejection, Sadara knew he must truly want another child. And she loved him and wanted him to be happy.

Her own father had been a Starfleet officer and was gone for a sizeable chunk of her own childhood. Sadara Lochlan knew the road ahead. But was having a child because she loved the man who wanted another one the right thing to do? Willingly creating another life knowing it would feel pain at its father's long absences fair to that child?

They did have a stable relationship and home so Sadara wasn't worried about providing for their children and having time for them.

Her sapphire gaze returned to his equally intense hazel one. James Tiberius Kirk. The man she was head over heels in love with still after eight years. The man she would willingly give her own life for. Surely if she was willing to do that then she could give him another child.

Suddenly sitting across from him as if they were counselor and client felt unnatural, despite their surroundings; and Sadara pushed herself out of her usual chair. She settled herself on the couch next to him and leaned against him for a few moments without saying anything. A strong arm wrapped itself around her and pulled her close and soft lips left a kiss on her forehead.

"If it's what you want, then it's what I want," Sadara said finally.


	4. Double Trouble

Jim Kirk closed the enormous antique hardcover book of fairy tales and looked over at his daughter, Madeline who was now out like the proverbial light. Contentment warmed his soul as he stroked her sandy blonde hair fanned out on the light pink pillow case and brushed a few strands behind her delicately pointed ears. It was moments like these when Jim Kirk felt the tedium of the Admiralty was entirely worth it.

Madeline had snuggled her way into their lives despite their precautions and despite the surprise, the charismatic young Admiral couldn't have been more thrilled at the news. Kirk knew from experience that sometimes an unexpected pregnancy could tear a couple apart. His relationship with Carol had not survived the birth of their son, David, though Kirk had tried to remain in their lives. To his joy the opposite happened with Sadara; Madeline's birth had strengthened their relationship. Their little girl was cheerful, energetic, and daddy's little girl to be certain. They were virtually inseparable when Kirk was home. Hiking, camping, and horseback riding were high on the list of things father and daughter enjoyed doing together.

Kirk replaced the old book back on the shelf and reached up to turn the lamp off. The light from their own bedroom spilled out into the hall illuminating Sadara as she appeared in the doorway and smiled warmly at Jim and Madeline. Her long, chocolate locks hung in loose curls about her shoulders and she was dressed only in a short, peach, satin slip. She held out a soft hand to Jim and he took it, stroking the back with a thumb, then he gave it a gentle squeeze and stood.

He followed her eagerly into the master bedroom after pulling their daughter's door shut behind him, leaving it open just a crack in case she woke up and needed them.

They pulled each other into a passionate embrace just next to their queen size bed. The window had been left slightly cracked and the long, cream colored curtains bounced in the cool breeze. Sadara shivered in spite of herself not sure if it was due to the breeze or the anticipation of what was to come.

Picking her up in his strong arms, Kirk gently placed her on the bed, his body following hers to lie next to her. Their legs twined as they pressed closer to each other. A gasp escaped Kirk as his lover's soft hands slipped under his uniform shirt, caressing his back. He sat up abruptly and yanked the shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor behind him. Impatience overcame him as his sharp hazel eyes took in her prone form appreciatively and he tugged his pants off roughly.

"Undress," Kirk ordered Sadara in that bossy tone he had. Her sapphire eyes widened in surprise, but she slowly, teasingly slipped herself of the peach hued slip. She was taking too long to suit the admiral who was used to be obeyed quickly and he yanked her panties roughly down her long legs.

"Much better," he nodded as he quickly covered her body with his, sheathing himself within her fully. Gasping in pleasure, she gripped his shoulders tightly as he buried his face in her shoulder, his moan of ecstasy muffled by the pillow.

W^^^W^^^W

A little over three months had passed since Kirk and Sadara had decided to have another child and Sadara had sensed Kirk's frustration that it hadn't happened immediately. Vulcan females were typically fertile the majority of a month which was directly opposite to the way Human females were wired. Sadara had a feeling that Kirk had been expecting this little project to have happened more quickly than it had. In truth, Sadara had too given the ease with which her pregnancy with Madeline had happened.

There were a number of reasons to explain why it had taken longer this time. Sadara may have miscarried. Defective embryos before a certain milestone in a Vulcan female's pregnancy were absorbed by the body as opposed to being expelled in a bloody mess as was the case with Human pregnancies. It was also possible that it simply hadn't happened yet owing to their different physiologies. The ease of Madeline's development was likely the exception rather than the rule.

Sadara had made an appointment to see Dr. McCoy to discuss the matter, but his scans had revealed more exciting news. It had taken longer than they'd anticipated, but Kirk would soon have another child.

Madeline met Sadara out in the front yard as she came home from work. She and her father had known that she had a doctor's appointment and would be home later than usual.

Madeline was getting quite tall and a bit too heavy to be carried around Sadara's hip like she used to when she was younger, but Sadara indulged her this time.

"So what did he say?!"

Sadara chuckled a bit at her daughter's enthusiasm and impatience. "He said that you're going to have a little brother and sister."

Madeline's slanted eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Which one?" She said not understanding.

"Twins, Maddy. Both."

"Two?"

"Two," Sadara nodded.

"Can I go tell daddy?"

Chuckling, Sadara put Madeline down. "Sure. Go tell your father."

Sadara lingered behind as Madeline charged into the house at full speed and into the kitchen where Jim Kirk was already changed into civilian clothes and busy with dinner preparations.

Kirk looked up as Madeline bounded up to him. "Guess what, daddy?!"

"What?" Kirk humored her while he gathered the dishes and silverware for supper and set the table.

"I'm gonna have a brother *and* a sister!"

"Are you now?" Kirk played along, certain that Madeline had to have been joking. While it was possible, the likelihood of twins wasn't great. He was certain it was simply his young daughter's overactive imagination that conjured up such a thing. "Why don't you go get washed for supper while I talk to your mom?"

"Okay, daddy," Madeline said, scampering off to the bathroom.

Returning to the stove, Kirk saw Sadara in his peripheral vision and he chuckled. "Our little girl thinks she's going to get a brother and a sister." He started moving dishes of food to the table and cleaning up the mess in the kitchen while they waited for Madeline to return.

"She is," Sadara said as if she still couldn't believe it herself. "We're having twins."


End file.
